Peace Seeker in a Chaotic World

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2009-12-30T15:54:00.000-08:00

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On the Second Night of Hanukkah

2009-12-13T09:02:00.001-08:00

I participate in a community called Our Jewish Community Online a website (found at www.ojco.org.) which is based in a suburb of Cincinnati, Ohio. Because Hanukkah (or Chanukah) started last night, I wasn't able to post before the online candle lighting (live last night due to Shabbat.) Subsequent candle lightings are being taped and put on the website as well as on Facebook where the organization also has a "Fan" page. I've noticed a few from my home state logging in. Hope you will check it out, too. Each night is being filmed at a different location. Past Shabbat services and Hanukkah candle lightings are archived for viewing. The first night is at the following link.

Losing Marbles?

2009-12-10T16:04:00.000-08:00

I was watching an episode of "Dirty Jobs" the other night on the Discovery Channel network. Those who view the program regularly are familiar with the format. Mike Rowe takes on "dirty jobs" and they range in content to fairly straightforward to downright disgusting.

The recent episode I watched had a segment about the creation of marbles. It was the second time in the past year that the thought of "marbles" had rolled around in my head (sorry, couldn't resist the set-up!)

While watching the segment, I realized something that was mentioned. Does anyone play a game of marbles any more? Was my generation (the first post-World War II generation) the last to really play a game of marbles, or are they still played in some really rural areas, not distracted by cable television and the internet?

My older sibling and I played marbles when I was a child, and I confess that I was actually one who preferred just collecting them than actually playing a game with them. The latter hazard would occur if you played a game of "for keeps" with your agates or "aggies" "cat's eyes", etc. You also could lose those big shooters that looked like huge gumballs, sometimes referred to as "jaw breakers." (like the huge round candy of that era.)

One thing that was mentioned by the person who owned the marble making factory visited by Mike Rowe was that while marbles are still made, primarily for floral or aquarium art, the older marbles are collected. Some can cost up to several hundred dollars, depending on the material used (gold has been used) to create them.

I scanned a few Internet sites that discussed the game of Marbles, and discovered that the game originally started in the American colonies with boys using musket balls (hopefully, there were no fatalities from hard strikes!) Also, several people left messages bemoaning the fact of trying to teach their children and/or grandchildren how to play a game of Marbles, and those younger people found it reported more than once, "boring."

I'm going to have to look up information on the game of "jacks"--because I don't see that played too often these days, either.

Writing and NPR

2009-11-25T20:00:00.000-08:00

Years ago, I could not see myself typing on a computer which was also providing a background of soothing music, but here I sit listening to an NPR program which has played both classical and meditation music during this particular time period in the evenings. This particular program is called Night Moosic by Bob Mooberry.

I've become quite the fan of NPR--National Public Radio lately. Not sure what to attribute it to. It's not like it is the first time I've listened to NPR in my life. I'm familiar with Prairie Home Companion, Car Talk, All Things Considered and a few other programs which are NPR staples, but tuning in one night, I came across this program hosted by Mooberry and have enjoyed it. It's a nice thing to end the day with, even when I'm not sitting at my computer. Another piece of technology, my iPhone has helped me link to NPR.

While it would be perhaps easier to catch the NPR feed from a station closer to where I live, that particular station is often filled with music related to the culture of the area where I live. I'm not a big fan of the regional music, so that makes me look for stations farther afield to listen to so I can get my NPR fix.

National Novel Writing Month Continues...Time Marches On!

2009-11-22T22:03:00.000-08:00

I haven't been blogging as much as I had intended because I'm deep into the National Novel Writing Month project. I don't see myself reaching that desired goal of 55,000 words but I've been astounded at how many words I've churned out. Sometimes, I have had problems because I've gone back and inserted thoughts that have come to me later, instead of just letting the whole process flow through me (as the organizers of this event encourage you to do. Sort of a "Don't think, just write...") Their email "pep talks" have been fun to read, and make you want to push on, even if you know you won't make that desired goal. After I quit fretting about that huge number, I started finding that I was typing slower than my thoughts were going.

Thank whomever for word processing on computers. While it is a sign that I no longer find myself writing things down in a creative flash like I once did, at least I can read what I've written. My handwriting has waned as my reliance on technical devices has increased.

Interestingly, a side effect of this month long project has been reconnecting with my creative side and inner voice (creatively speaking) I have been amazed at how poems are beginning to get out of my head and onto a screen, if not on paper. It's still tangible and not abstract when I've recorded it in my computer's word processing program.

One lovely thing about writing this way, as opposed to handwriting or even using typewriters (remember those?) is that I can now magically edit, either subtract or add words and phrases without scribbling, erasing or blotting out changes in thoughts.

So I've actually got a novella at this point! Who knew? My last long non-academic writing project--a short story--wasn't this long. I'm well over thirty pages at this point (longer than any academic papers I wrote,) even though with that goal of the 55,000 word count, I don't think I'll make it to the equivalent of 175 pages. But it's opened the floodgates!! I'm so happy I got involved in this project and hope to keep going after November ends!

Beliefs in Conflict

2009-11-08T16:21:00.000-08:00

Someone I've known since my early years in college and I have gotten reconnected after many years. He was a grad student, I was a Freshman. He was my mentor as I was writing poetry outside of my classes. I'd met him through my Freshman English teacher who is now his wife of over 25 years.

Creatively, his guidance was, and is, invaluable. However, we don't "meld" when it comes to issues of a spiritual nature. "Poetic Owl" as I will refer to him, to protect his identity, sent me a link related to the topic of religion, more specifically, religious beliefs and I have to admit, the title of the website is intriguing to me.The website is titled "Why Won't God Heal Amputees?" and is a series of writings to promote the idea that the concept of God is largely a "fairy tale" for people who aren't "rational." While some would refer to such people as "atheists" the writings on this website mention that the term "atheist" is not appropriate, because it means that you have to acknowledge the existence of God to deny it. If you don't believe in God in the first place, why should you deny it. Point taken. The website goes on to state that at least three major religions: Christianity, Islam and Mormons (which I guess is not considered under Christianity, due to the rather different teachings espoused by that group (in the past, I saw Mormons list as a "cult" in some places.) Curiously, I saw no mention of Judaism, Hinduism or Buddhism. But perhaps I didn't read the material too closely.

In the website, if you deny the existence of God from the outset, then you are not an atheist, you are a "Rationalist." By virtue of believing something else that can't be proven, you are labeled "Irrational." The writings go on to divide rationalists and others, as "well" and "sick or delusional." I do not see myself as delusional and think of myself as fairly rational. But that is my own self-interpretation. I do understand why someone might differ in opinion.

I'm fairly open-minded in my belief system, and I shared my thoughts with my friend and mentor. I don't wish to express the long, circuitous discussion I had with him via emails, but ultimately, I politely said this is just a case where we will have to agree to disagree. I am not seeking to convert him, and though he denied wanting to convert me to his thinking, I had to wonder. Or was he seeking validation for his views? I respect him, but again, I disagree.

National Novel Writing Month is Here!

2009-11-04T19:26:00.000-08:00

I decided to plunge into something I hadn't done in many years. Writing creatively at length. I'd written a few poems here and there, done some journalistic writing for area newspapers, started blogging (at one time having three going...which can prove exhausting!) but had not written really at length since leaving academia.

While reading someone's blog entry, I learned (for the second time) about Nanowrimo, otherwise known as National Novel Writing Month, which occurs every November. The rules are fairly simple. You sign up, preferably by November 1, and write about 55,000 words until Midnight November 30...or you can stop at 55,000 before that time and upload your work to Nanowrimo.org, the website. While there are amusing anectdotes about people who have written the same word 55,000 that really isn't "playing fair." But no one is going to come to your house to scold you or send an angry email with a reprimand. It's all about being creative. It's also helping someone like me, who has had ideas floating around but just not "quite ready" to put them down on paper (or into the computer word processor) to finally get that creative "mojo" working again. It's amazing how fast the words add up, especially if you're just listening to that creative voice within and not worrying about punctuation, correct grammar (though your computer program will probably help you with that) or anything else that might seem intimidating if you're you own worst critic. Never mind those past rejection letters you've gotten. Just write...for the fun of it.

Back from vacation....

2009-11-02T15:27:00.000-08:00

What is it about vacations that make them so short? I just returned from a four day time of peace in an area where I once lived in Tennessee. If you live in a town where the leaves never change colors, or only have three "seasons" to them, as I've mentioned before "green, brown and dead," maybe you never know the gorgeous riot of color that explodes in autumn in areas in other areas of the US.

When I was a child and adolescent, I thought of living someday in an area like Florida and/or Hawaii: sunshine, ocean breezes and seeming seasonal stability. I spent the first eighteen years of my life in areas where the seasons came and went in a predictable cycle. But then I moved to an area, never intending to stay, where the weather is usually hot and humid for a VERY long time, with no lovely sea breezes to abate the sweltering temperatures. There's a small window of transition from hot and humid to cold and humid. Notice the humidity sticks around, it just shifts in terms of temperature.

I know there is the "pain" of living in areas where the colors all tumble off the trees and you have to rake them into infinite piles...or so it seems...until the season of winter sets in, but it seems like a small price to pay, metaphorically speaking, to view such wondrous displays of color. And like most things, you never really appreciate it or them, until they aren't part of you life.

Halloween and Havdalah

2009-10-25T16:51:00.000-07:00

If you're Jewish (or just curious,) ever wonder what to do when two events "collide"? In this case, the end of Shabbat coincides with Halloween. Edmon J. Rodman gives you the answer to this dilemma below.

October 21, 2009

When Havdalah haunts Halloween

By Edmon J. Rodman, JTA

There will be no eerie glow coming from your Havdalah candle on Saturday evening, Oct. 31. No boiling or toiling in your Kiddush cup or smell of sulfur in your spice box.
Shabbat will be ending, Halloween beginning, and you can use this time to light up their differences by creating a Halloween Havdalah.
It’s not that I am proposing a Goth Shabbat.
Each October our print media gives us umpteen articles about how to carve a pumpkin. Here we will also be carving, but for a totally different result the medium will be time.
What I am suggesting is using the transition from Shabbat to Halloween to accentuate the distinction between Holy Shabbat time and the secular every day.
Recent surveys show the average American home with children will spend more than $50 this year on Halloween. How much will we be spending on Havdalah?
Requiring a braided multi-wicked candle ($4), a little kosher grape juice or Kiddush wine ($4), and some cloves, nutmeg or cinnamon in a shaker, Havdalah is a wonderful atmospheric observance whose rewards continue long after the costumes have been put away and the candy gobbled.
The October horror story isn’t whether Jews celebrate Halloween—it’s now observed largely as a secular day—the story that should have us shaking is whether Jews celebrate Shabbat.
Work’s necessity makes us forget: There is an almost tangible distinctiveness to Jewish time.
Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, in his classic book “The Sabbath,” speaks of Shabbat as a spiritual place, a “palace in time.”
Using the drama of Havdalah to take leave of the palace helps create a defining change of scene, especially before you and the kids head out into an October’s All Hollow’s eve.
The heart of Havdalah can be found in the phrase “ha’mavdil bain kodesh l’chol,”—“distinguishing between the sacred and the secular.” The name Havdalah comes from the verb “l’havdil,” to separate or distinguish.
Some Jews even say the word l’havdil when they want to make it clear that two things are much different, that they have no business of even being thought of together.
With Havdalah you are saying l’havdil between Shabbat and Halloween, expressing that there is a difference.
For a text for your service, most prayer books have a page or two for Havdalah. A little light on prayer books? Go online.
Rabbi Amy Scheinerman of Beth Shalom Congregation of Carroll County in Maryland has prepared a service complete with Hebrew transliteration, including a tip on how to create a homemade Havdalah candle. She suggests using warm water to soften two or three Chanukah candles and then twist them together.
You can also simply hold two candles together with wicks intertwined. Be sure to wrap foil around the candle’s base for a holder.
Wait till you see three stars to begin. Doorbells may be ringing; the kids restless. Look up to the sky, hold your ground (with three boys, it’s familiar ground) and go for the full difference between darkness and light.
Lower the lights. Light the candle and hold it up. Read the first part about deliverance. In contrast to the fear and shock themes of Halloween, the first line ends with resolute words for both child and adult: “I am confident and unafraid.”
Say Kiddush, the blessing over the wine. Don’t drink yet.
Kiddush wine or grape juice is a simple drink—not Halloween bubbling punch or a Bloody Mary. It’s sweet and hopefully so will be your week.
Next, pick up the spices, “b’samim,” say the blessing. They are a kind of smelling salts to revive your post-Shabbat spirits. Shake them, fully breathe them in, then pass them around. So much of Halloween is a me-me-me grab fest; b’samim is a communal pleasure.
Bless the flame. Two or more wicks burning as one broadcast, especially in a darkened room—no jack o’ lantern or blinking skulls required—the difference between light and darkness. To remind yourself of the difference, hold your palms up toward the candle, curve your fingers inward and see the shadows they cast.
Say the final blessings about God creating everything and everyone distinctly different, as well as distinguishing between the sacred and the everyday. Drink some wine.
Put out the candle in the wine. My kids loved doing this. Listen to the sizzle as the candle is quenched. Better than any sound effect, it is the sound of Shabbat ending and the new week with all its promise beginning.
Sing “Hamavdil,” a feel-good song that connects the blessings of Shabbat to the rest of the week. One verse goes: “Our families and our means, and our peace, may God increase.”
It’s our own kind of candy.
Now, wish each other a “shavuah tov,” a “gutte vokh,” a good week; no “boos” allowed.
Close the ceremony by singing “Eliyahu Hanavee.”
Better than any costumed character or mask, we have Eliyahu, who legend has it ascended to heaven in a fiery chariot. We leave the door open for him at the seder and invoke his name here at Havdalah, hoping for a time of Shabbat-like messianic peace—a time without candy wrappers, fake fog or cardboard skeletons.
(Edmon J. Rodman is a JTA columnist writing on Jewish life from Los Angeles.)

Green, Brown, Dead...I'm a "Leaf Peeper"

2009-10-17T14:42:00.000-07:00

I finally got a "diagnosis" for: "Autumn Envy." I am a "Leaf Peeper." So says Raina Kelley in a recent issue of Newsweek magazine . Ms. Kelley's article identifies those of us who trek to her area to view the lovely autumn colors she sees yearly as a New England resident as "Leaf Peepers." She is tired of the tourists who make yearly treks to her area just to admire leaves that she and others in her area will have to rake up. I guess I can understand her distress over that, but unless you have never been exposed to the colors of leaves changing, or just have a fondness for greenery year round (which seems a little unnatural to me,) the splendor of autumn colors is wonderful. Or that's the way I see it.

While I have lived in the southern United States my entire life, I did live in areas where the leaves changed colors reflecting the changes of the seasons. I took it for granted, even though like Ms. Kelley, I recall raking leaves or at least helping put them in piles as my parents labored. It was worth it though.

After graduating from high school, I went off to college in an area where the autumn and winter weather is reasonably mild compared to say, New England. The longer I stayed in this area of heat and high humidity (where I still reside because I married someone native to this region) the more I began to realize that there are only three seasons here: the leaves are green, brown, then dead (if they fall off the trees when it gets to freezing temperatures.) No vivid golds, purples and crimsons signifying seasonal changes, except in random cases.

The other thing I took for granted in the more "northern" southern states was a big shock to my husband. Visiting the Birmingham (Alabama) Botanical Gardens one year, something scampered across our path. My normally calm husband was startled and said "What was THAT?" I, of course, asked "WHAT?" He pointed. I looked at him and calmly stated "O that's a chipmunk!" It was then that I realized my husband, raised around the flat lands of a southern state only knew chipmunks from the old "Chip n Dale" cartoons of our childhood.

Last year, we made a trek up to where I lived in Tennessee briefly as a child. It was autumn. I was in heaven, and so was my husband. We are going back to be "leaf peepers" there in a couple of weeks. I hope one day to return to the visible seasonal cycles, even if snow is part of that scenario. Just not TOO much snow. Which probably means, unlike Ms.Kelley, I won't ever be a resident of New England. But perhaps one day, I'll make the trip up there during the height of autumn, just to be annoying.

Holocaust Experience in Eighteen Hours?

2009-10-16T21:23:00.000-07:00

Christian school wants to simulate Anne Frank’s hiding with sleepover
> Posted by Akilah Johnson on October 9, 2009 01:29 PM (Mentioned in Tablet Magazine online)

The eight-grade class at Bethany Christian School is having a co-ed sleepover. The goal is help students better understand Anne Frank, the Jewish girl made famous by the posthumous publication of the diary documenting her experiences hiding during the German occupation of the Netherlands in World War II.

Jennifer VanHekken, or Mrs. V as students know her, said her class has been studying "Anne Frank: Diary of Young Girl" and thought it would be a good idea for them to spend 18 hours together in her classroom.

So starting at 4:30 p.m. today, her 14 students will turn over their cell phones, iPods, laptops and other gadgets that must be plugged into the wall. They also can’t bring any snacks because they’ll be eating potatoes, bread, carrots, coffee and oatmeal — pretty much what Anne’s family ate during their two years in hiding.

The kids aren’t allowed to leave the room, other than bathroom breaks, until noon on Saturday. Boys and girls will be separated during sleep time.

“It is my desire that through this project, our students will better appreciate the difficulties faced by many Jews who were in hiding during WWII and have a fresh view of Anne Frank’s life,” Mrs. V said in a letter sent home to parents.

There are problems with this "Holocaust Experience," even though the exercise was a possibly well-meaning attempt to help students understand the Holocaust which ended the lives of over six million people during the 1930s until 1944.

Eighteen hours of deprivation for students in the twenty-first century may be difficult, but there are elements missing in this "experience." Unlike Anne Frank and others who experienced that dark period of history, even with food and technological deprivation, the students could realize that at the end of eighteen hours, they would be able to walk out of this experience and return to a normal life without the dehumanizing "processing" done at concentration camps, crowded conditions, illness, and the constant fear of death, uncertain times of restriction, abuse, separation (often permanent) from loved ones.

While I am fairly certain that the teacher meant in no way to minimize the suffering of those who endured dehumanizing conditions and terrifying experiences, I feel a better way to approach this would have been to have a survivor talk to the class. Granted, the survivors are slowly becoming few in number as the years pass, but they have the best way of discussing their experience with students and gauging what is age appropriate in the telling of their memories.

Rewriting the Bible

2009-10-14T13:23:00.001-07:00

I heard this item below on a recent news broadcast (I believe it was The Rachel Maddow Show on MSNBC.) Until then, I didn't know that such a rewriting of scripture was in the works.

Conservatives Find Bible Too Liberal
So they’ll write a new one

By Marissa Brostoff | 3:00 pm October 13, 2009

Conservapedia, the right-wing version of Wikipedia, has launched a project to eliminate what it considers liberal bias in modern versions of the Bible. Part of the problem is translators who throw around words like “comrade” and “labor,” according to Andrew Schlafly, the website’s founder (and son of anti-feminist crusader Phyllis Schlafly), and part of the problem is, well, some teachings of the Bible. An improved version, according to Schlafly’s guidelines, will not be “emasculated” or “dumbed down” as leading evangelical versions of the Scriptures apparently are, will “accept the logic of hell … as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil,” and, most amusingly, will “express free market parables”—which might be a stretch given that, as Stephen Colbert pointed out, “the meek shall inherit the earth” is most certainly a bunch of “liberal claptrap.”

The irony of the whole project, it seems to us, is that Schlafly is far from the first to politically reframe the Bible or other sacred texts—but that’s usually the province of liberals, because they’re not religious fundamentalists. It’s one thing to update a man-made text you believe is both valuable and problematic; changing the literal word of God to suit your political ends is quite a different story.

The Bible: Lost in Conservative Translation [Guardian]

Life, Interrupted.....

2009-10-11T08:24:00.000-07:00

One problem with blogging...You can get burned out if you do too many too often--I have had three (including this one) running in the past year. So I took a break, and decided to pare down my blogging time. Hopefully, I'll be here more often. Life also got "in the way" with various changes occurring with my job, spirituality, and relationships.

In recent months, due to the email relationship I've maintained with a person I met several years ago, who was only in my area for a year, I have found a new spiritual road. Check out:

OurJewishCommunity.org

Rabbi Laura Baum (whose photo is above, that's not my photo) served as a rabbinical student with the Jewish community in my area. She has developed a wonderful website which is worth checking out, regardless of your religious background. It's multimedia, and as is the current phrase "Spirituality for the 21st Century."

Sunburn and Lunar Wonder

2009-07-20T18:46:00.001-07:00

Forty years ago today I was a teenager spending a month-long vacation with my family in Florida. There were two things that made today etched forever in my memory: the first lunar landing and a case of sunburn I received from fall asleep on the beach.

Since the space program has fascinated me from its beginning, like millions of others of that time, I stayed up late to watch those grainy black and white images on a television relayed back to those marvelled by the wonder of it all, reported by Walter Cronkite who shared in that sense of wonder and astonishment. There were those who said (back on earth) that the whole thing was a stunt filmed on earth in either a sound studio in Hollywood or Death Valley. Fortunately, those "conspiracy" believers were in the minority.

I remember after the excitement of watching the lunar landing walks and bouncing by astronauts Armstrong and Aldrin, trying to sleep, but the sunburn and a historical milestone that seems so much nearer than forty years ago, keeping me up longer than I'd ever been awake in my life at that time.

I had hoped, like Stanley Kubrick, that by 2001, the world would have made greater strides in the space program, but such has not been the case. Perhaps one day, astronauts will venture out beond the moon, and I hope I am alive to see that event. Sunburn, however, is something I never wish to experience again

R.I.P. M.J.

2009-07-05T08:48:00.000-07:00

I learned about the death of Michael Jackson when someone told me while I was chatting online with them the day the news broke (Actress Farrah Fawcett had died earlier that same day.) Like many people, I was in shock. Fawcett's death was sad but not unexpected given her long struggle with cancer. However, Jackson was an extremely gifted and talented individual, but a seemingly deeply troubled one as well (some labeled him "weird", others made less kind remarks to the press--even after his recent death--judgments that his soul has now gone to "Hell") and growing speculation about drug dependency is not a surprise.

Before the pedophilia issue, before controversy over his changing looks, I had enjoyed Michael Jackson's music back to the days of the Jackson 5 when I was a teenager. I enjoyed several of his songs in his later years as a solo performer. The song "Billie Jean" was not a favorite of mine beyond the televised "moonwalk" MJ revealed to the world at the televised Motown celebration, but that dance move impressed me. I wish he'd stopped his physical transformation after the release of the album "Thriller." The video of "Heal the World" can still move me to tears.

There would come the revelations (not surprising) that Joseph Jackson abused his sons to get them noticed by music companies at an early age. There is a long history of "stage parents" and it continues today in the form of baby or children beauty pageants and even over-hyped reality programs using the term "talent shows." All a disturbing trend for money and fame.

I'm going to remember Jackson for his talent, which also probably led to physical problems and as speculated, drug dependency. Toward the end of his life, Jackson had altered his appearance so much that he gone from a cute boy to a man obviously with too much money and not enough self-esteem. His music will live on as part of his legacy.

D-Day and Veterans: 65th Anniversary

2009-06-06T13:13:00.000-07:00

Take a moment to remember those who participated in D-Day on this date six decades ago, and their efforts. The survivors of that day are dwindling each year.

Dehydration and Dysentery

2009-05-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

I was horrified to find out recently about the following matter during a national news broadcast: troops in Iraq have been enduring a water shortage caused by red tape. If you think the heat is bad in the southern United States, think about the 100+ degree temperatures endured by US troops in one of the hottest areas on earth. Things became so bad for some of the soldiers, they resorted to drinking water from local sources: the result? Dysentery. If the thought of exposure to the swine flu makes you nervous, imagine what the troops are facing. When I first heard the news of this, NO ONE had stepped up to make something happen. Hopefully, news of this situation will anger enough people to insist on correcting it. Immediately.

Lest We Forget

2009-05-10T20:12:00.000-07:00

Just finished watching the first part of a multi-part series on HBO network titled The Alzheimer's Project.

I was anticipating this program with both positive and negative feelings. In this first segment, it introduced six participants in this project afflicted with Alzheimer's. Despite some definitely sad moments, there were amazing ones and fascinating ones as well. One participant keeps a blog. You can link to it here: Living with Alzheimer's.

The fascinating thing is that someone can keep a blog (I corrected the spelling of the title) and give insight into the progression of the disease, keeping his sense of humor somewhat intact, at least while the cameras are recording. Joe did tear up, however, while talking about knowing what having this disease means, and living with that diagnosis. Another gentleman could still perform with a singing group he'd belonged to years before without faltering on one note while he was singing. But his short term memory loss was evident.

I did experiencing negative feelings during the program, only because I know what that diagnosis truly means. I had a parent who was afflicted with Alzheimer's who died three years ago this past week. The grief is still fresh at such times of the year. Like Maria Shriver who co-produced this series, I also know what it is like to not only see the brilliant mind of a parent deteriorate, but live in the shadows of the specter of Alzheimer's myself.

While I await the next episodes of this series, related to research and family interactions with those afflicted with Alzheimer's, I also hope that a cure can be found in my lifetime. No one deserves this disease, and like many diseases, few are immune to it.

The photo is of my father (the younger and at the time, shorter, of the two boys, who was to later be afflicted with Alzheimer's) and one of my uncles from a childhood photo published in their hometown newspaper when they enlisted during World War II.

Crazy Love: Not What Van Morrison Sang About

2009-04-27T16:25:00.000-07:00

...love, love, love, crazy love....---Van Morrison (Crazy Love)

I just recently finished reading a book titled Crazy Love by Leslie Morgan Steiner. Unlike the lyrics singer Van Morrison evoked of "smitten" love in his classic song of the same title, Steiner writes a book about her own descent into infatuation turned violent. It is an account of her relationship and marriage to an abusive man. I could relate....a little.

Steiner's often brutal account of her relationship then marriage (the guy's name is disguised, but the tale of Steiner's account is all too real) to an abusive person is troubling, but worth reading if only to educate people who don't understand the dynamics of abusive relationships.

While I was in college in my early twenties, I was involved in two abusive relationships. I wasn't stupid, I thought I was in love, and fortunately, I guess, the "abuse" was emotional not physical. It was related to self-esteem issues. A common thread in such relationships I'd find out. Even if you start out "smart," love can change your perspective.

I later worked at an abused women's shelter and saw and heard situations much worse than what I had experienced, even though I had also been stalked for several months in the days before stalking was labeled a crime.

I recommend the book with hesitancy. It is painful to read at times, but if you don't know that much about abusive relationships, it will definitely make you aware of how relationships that seem so "perfect" can be so harmful...and sometimes deadly.

Last word...Steiner obviously survived her abusive situation to write this book as a cautionary tale for others who sometimes are "crazy in love." As the saying goes: "Knowledge is power."

So Much for Civil Discourse...Dealing with "Blowback"

2009-04-27T16:24:00.000-07:00

This is from another blog I have through a newspaper I read online. My "alias" there is "Writerleft"

I expected to cause a stir when I posted my previous blog entry. But after over thirty posted comments to my statements (at least I know I'm sometimes being read, even if I don't always use precise grammar) here's what some of you may have overlooked (that's an assumption on my part, and you possibly know what is said about the word "assume.") I did not condemn all forms of interrogation used by the US military and the agencies designed to protect US military or citizens of the US or other nations. I don't know what techniques interrogators use other than the ones I've heard or read about (waterboarding, sleep deprivation, blindfolded drops from different levels, loud continual music, humiliation verified by published photos, personal religious items torn apart and flushed down toilets, etc.) But waterboarding...seeing it on videotape played repeatedly during debates about this, is just horrendous to me. Easy solution? Turn away, turn off the television, stay silent. I cannot. I still view the technique of waterboarding as a form of torture, and I know I'm not alone. I also chose to bring up the topic because of all the coverage it is currently receiving.

Nowhere in my prior post did I suggest that we (i.e. the US government) have the alleged or confirmed terrorists sit around in comfy chairs, "while holding [their] hands," sip tea and eat cookies and say to them "My, what a predicament we have here. Won't you help us and hand over the information, please?"

As we as a nation allow waterboarding (one man reportedly was waterboarded over 100 times, and still hasn't provided really useful information,) we as a nation are alienating ourselves from other nations, and quite possibly helping in the recruitment of others into organizations like Al Qaeda, because of continuing to waterboard. I've also read about and seen videos of the beheading of persons like journalist Daniel Pearl by Islamic extremists, and it sickens me. So I'm not unaware of what is done.

In regard to some of the comments, I found some unnecessary written attacks. One wrote something referencing "beheading" I would probably receive from terrorists if they were here, which I thought odd, considering I was merely expressing an opinion as a citizen of this country which obviously wasn't clearly understood or thought about calmly. All Muslims are not terrorists. I knew when I posted my comments that I was going to touch a nerve in some. I understand the right to disagree with what I've said, but personal attacks are unnecessary. Same in regard to referring to someone as "liberal" like it is something akin to excrement.

As far as my political feelings expressed as a "rant" by one comment, I mentioned that I was aware I was "on a soapbox." The last time I got on a "hot topic soapbox" was pre-Internet, writing a letter to the editor of a newspaper for publication. Because I expressed an opinion on a "hot topic," I received a threat of severe bodily harm, because at the time, all letters to be published had to have both the writer's name and address provided for publication with the letter. The interesting thing was while I had to provide this information, others, like the one who threatened me, could respond anonymously and mail such a letter to my residence. I have no problem with disagreement as long as it doesn't involve a threat or an unnecessary attack. I can respect others who disagree with my views, but expect...or at least hope for...respect, myself.

One writer commented that it is "torture" to stay in uncomfortable places while hunting, fishing, or just plain standing. That's not the same "torture" to which I'm referring. I gave a specific example of an interrogation technique. I was not talking about personal or recreational inconveniences.

Some made comments assuming that all my views must be a "typical liberal" (whatever that is.) I've voted for candidates "on both sides of the aisle" as is the phrase now. Politically, I'm more in the center, hence the double pun "RIGHT OR LEFT" (and I write, sometimes seeing things in a "left" perspective. Sometimes on the political right.) Get it?

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know I've remarked that it was disrespectful in my view to have a shoe thrown at a US president, even a president I didn't agree with at the time he was in office and that shoe was thrown at him, and I didn't find the endless parodies about the incident that funny. Though I agree with many who think Bush is/was one of the worst presidents in the history of this nation, and for many of his actions while president, he and some members of his staff deserve prosecution.

As for another comment, Yes, I do remember the previous Gulf Wars (if you looked at my profile and did the math, you'd know that) as I've worked with veterans of several wars whom I respect and I remember the tyrant Saddam Hussein and his confirmed atrocities. But there was also a lot of talk after that horrible day in 2001 about capturing Osama bin Laden. What bothers me is that we could find Hussein, but with military power and continued surveillance, we can't locate bin Laden despite information obtained. I always had this feeling that GWB was trying to accomplish something GHWB, his father, could not, by focusing on Hussein and not capturing bin Laden as well. Why? My guess: Iraq has oil. Finding Osama bin Laden is less important.

Waterboarding Sean Hannity

2009-04-27T16:21:00.001-07:00

This is from another blog I have online as "Writerleft"

Religion and politics are two volatile subjects I try to stay away from at least in a public forum, but my activist hackles are up more than ever. If I hear or read one more article claiming that waterboarding is NOT a form of torture, I may just go off the deep end (sorry for the pun, as this is really a serious subject. Deadly serious.) I can't even bear to watch the repeated videotape showing this form of "interrogation" being done in the name of this government. Isn't the United States supposed to be THE example of humanity and legal adherence above any other nation on earth? It's a rhetorical question. I know the answer.

Sean Hannity has decided that waterboarding is not a form of torture. Ditto Rush Limbaugh (for Limbaugh devotees, I couldn't resist the use of the word "ditto"--and you know who you are!) Glenn Beck has also refused to see waterboarding as torture. Do I sense that the whole Fox News group thinks waterboarding is like standing under a waterfall? It seems that way. It's either insanity or uber machismo to think waterboarding is a harmless interrogation technique (Rush Limbaugh was on videotape slapping himself in the face proclaiming "I'm torturing myself." But that's Limbaugh theatre again.)

Well, someone has issued Hannity a challenge to his "Waterboard for Charity" idea. Keith Olbermann of MSNBC is going to pay a charity $1000 for every second of Hannity's nifty little idea that "waterboarding isn't torture" view if Hanity puts his body to the test of waterboarding.

While I'm on my soapbox, I'll admit I'm disappointed that Obama has backed off the idea of immediately seeking prosecution for the former executive branch of Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld et al. I do hope he changes his mind. If Bill Clinton can get impeached for an act that unfortunately is common among a lot of politicians, what the heck is the hold up for prosecuting these people who got us into a war under pretense, put thousands of our sons, daughters, wives, husbands, mothers, fathers.. you get the point...in harm's way? Not to mention the casualties and wounded. And I'm talking about OUR troops, not other nations'.

So, Mr. Hannity, I'm waiting to see how harmless you think waterboarding is. Mr. Olbermann, get out your checkbook. Let's see how much charity earns from this.

The Glow Worm and Spike Jones

2009-01-29T13:24:00.000-08:00

I've been reading a blog written by someone who recently took a break in his history lessons about a city nearby to think about lightning bugs. I grew up knowing those little bugs as "fireflies" and learned a song on the piano during my lessons in childhood titled "The Glow Worm," yet another reference to "lightning bugs" albeit in their larva stage. As they mature, they are called "glow flies" by some. While I was reading the blogger's post, I not only thought of my piano playing days, but the song as interpreted by the late, great, Spike Jones (not to be confused with the person Spike Jonze.) While tracking down a version of this song on Youtube.com, I came across the song being sung by The Mills Brothers, a popular group back in my childhood. That's version was probably when I first heard the song, as my parents liked The Mills Brothers. Then there was the Spike Jones version. If you've never heard of Spike Jones (and his band of City Slickers) and you like parody songs, Spike Jones was famous for them. My parents were fans of Spike Jones, so I grew up hearing the performances on vinyl records, but never saw Jones and his band perform live. My father told me that those live performances he saw during his military service in World War II were like a three ring circus with so much going on during the performance it was dizzying. The music, mostly songs from the 1940s onward would often start off in straight, lush orchestral arrangements of the chosen song, sometimes with a vocalist, then in a matter of minutes, disintegrate into a form of musical chaos, silliness and laugh-until-you-cry (especially if you were a child) madness. When my parents died, I inherited those albums and still treasure them decades after first hearing them.

Laid off, again

2009-01-14T18:25:00.000-08:00

To borrow and slightly re-write a phrase from Lennon & McCartney: "I got the news today, o boy..." When I actually had heard the news circulating about cutbacks happening due to the economy, despite my hopes, I knew it was just a matter of time until the axe fell for me. In my working history which spans some three decades, I've been laid off twice before, due to budget cuts related to the economy taking a downturn. As always, it starts with a meeting with the boss I have at the time and the phrase: "I have some bad news...." Consequently, I get a knot in my stomach every time the boss I have at a job says "I need to talk with you." It never gets any easier, even when the job I'm losing this time (a government-related position) is one I was overqualified for from Day One. It was supplemental income, so at least this time I'm not totally out of work. Yet. I have another job to rely upon which I notified today about the need for additional income. My boss there said "Sorry about you being laid off from that job, but we could really use you more here since things are getting busier." So, there's that, with hopefully no more bad news in the near future.

Fortunately, none of this affects my love of writing (that's job number three...with sporadic income involved--so I've never been able to view it as self-sustaining income, but self-sustaining in the personal satisfaction area of my life.)

I'm very grateful that I will be able to continue to bring in a steady salary this time. In the past, it was frightening to lose a job and not have one "in reserve." Perhaps I've learned from past experiences the need to have another job as back up.

I feel for those losing their jobs in other areas and hope that they are fortunate enough to find something quickly in a declining economy. Here's hoping the gloomy economic outlook passes faster than currently predicted

My Journey through Judaism

2009-01-10T11:19:00.000-08:00

"Good Shabbos," "Shabbat Shalom." These were greetings I learned from two separate temple congregations I attended in my fifteen year journey through Judaism, the last decade of which I dedicated myself to Judaism by the act of conversion.

Normally, I am hesitant to discuss my spiritual journey, because I think of such things as personal, individual matters. I'm not an evangelist seeking to convert people to my way of thinking. But in light of the recent news related to Hamas, the Gaza and Israel, which has extended to organizations seeking membership of "We stand with Israel" between Christians and Jews, I thought I would share the story of my journey through Judaism. Any reader of this, I ask only one thing. This is my journey, not yours, so I would like respect shown to what I share.

I became interested in Judaism at a young age by way of several paths. One was learning early from my Christian parents that without Judaism there would be no Christianity. Jesus was Jewish. But that brings up another matter I've learned over the years: the perception of the man known as Jesus, the historical and theological aspects meshed with cultural aspects, myths and legends. But that's another topic of focus.

The second path which brought me to Judaism was, as with others, study of the Holocaust during the twentieth century, and I did, indeed take coursework related to that historical period, one of the worst in human history. Notably, it began with the diary of Anne Frank, which has been revised over the years as more details have been released (and I own each new revision.) But Anne Frank was part of a traditional European view of Judaism which was rather alien to me as an American. Of course, her family's suffering touched me deeply.

When I started college, my journey through various religions gained momentum. I attended a Jewish temple but felt a bit of an outsider because I didn't know that much about the culture beyond what I'd read. While the temple is Reform in spirit, (the more liberal branch of Judaism) like other small temples in the area outside of major cities, the congregation tends to be an amalgam of those raised in the Orthodox tradition, the Conservative tradition (the more moderate) and the Reform tradition. Various views accompany such a mixture in one group, but that doesn't make it bad. Just different.

Years later, when I committed to Judaism by conversion, I had no intention of leaving it. I'd studied with a rabbi to whom I had to journey several hours because he was in another region than where I lived. I shared some of my thoughts on the transformation and he provided feedback--the humorous aspect of this study was that I had read the texts he suggested over a period of time when I wasn't actively seeking conversion. As I joined another temple congregation, also small, and like the first, without a full-time or even part-time rabbi, I tried my best to adapt to a congregation which relied as many small congregations do, on lay-leadership and monthly visits by rabbinical students (who are often referred to as "rabbis" or "teachers" by congregation members...but I think that title should be reserved for those who make it through the difficult learning process akin to seminaries known by Christians. But that's just my view.)

I became involved in lay leadership of Shabbat services on Friday evenings and inquired into a program aimed at deeper lay leadership training known as "para-rabbinical studies," though it has gone through many name changes over the years. While the congregation with which I affiliated did not discourage me, they did make it known that they had functioned quite well for years without a person with para-rabbinical training so that they felt I should just do the training if I wanted it, it wasn't necessary for the congregation. It was a double-edged view. I wanted to serve my congregation, my Jewish family in a broader sense than just Friday evening services, so I felt the training wasn't thought of as necessary but it was what they knew. I was supported in my attendance at the regional conference where several thousand Jews attend to worship, to learn and to become an engaged community for several days. It was an awe-inspiring and deeply satisfying experience for me spiritually.

As time passed, I found that the congregation to which I belonged had a much more "help society as a whole" approach in their thinking than one of weekly religious observance or spiritual inquiry. This concept was not, of course, a bad one, but it was not what I personally was looking for in my own concept of community. Perhaps this was related to their own upbringing, I don't know. But it was rare to find many people at the weekly services unless it was the monthly visit by the rabbinical student, and of course, during the time known as the High Holy Days (or Holidays) in the Jewish Year, or an event like Passover. It reminded me a lot of those Christians I'd known who go to Church twice a year: Christmas and Easter. Likewise, sports took a greater significance in the life of many members than did weekly services or spirituality (as it has in my experience as a Christian member of a congregation,) so the small congregation attendance was very small during some sports seasons, and sports, not spirituality seemed to be the topic of interest.

I did meet people who enriched my life, but my spiritual life, always more introverted than extroverted languished because I had only one other person (also a convert) who engaged in spiritual discussions with me. When I decided to leave the congregation after much prayer and meditation, I called up my friend who like myself was a convert, and broke down in tears as I discussed my difficult decision with her. Fortunately, our friendship remains beyond the bounds of spiritual interests.

Perhaps if I had been more "extroverted" or been a member of a larger Jewish congregation, I would have found a home for life. I blame no one for what happened, but I did return to the religion in which I was raised, and fortunately a denomination which allows a person to think differently than some Christian denominations. As a resident of southern Louisiana both in college and for a few years following, I heard many stories from "ex-Catholics" or as they sometimes call themselves "recovering Catholics." It is something to which I cannot relate. But that is another "journey" story.

Do I regret my journey through Judaism? Not really. The end result was not what I would have liked, but knowing myself as a spiritual seeker, I reconciled myself to following my heart, or as one friend has summed up such a journey: "Go where you are fed spiritually."

Bibliophilia

2008-12-27T12:29:00.000-08:00

Just like with animals, I've had a lifelong love affair with books. I learned to read several years before I started school (in the time period when pre-K and Kindergarten wasn't required.) My mother once told me that as she was trying to teach my brother to read (he's four years older) I would sit and try to read the print upside down in books while she sat beside him. She mentioned that she worried I was dyslexic.

I went on regular trips to the public libraries with my mother before I started school, and of course, after. My father introduced me to classics when I was in grade school. I didn't know it wasn't "normal" to have read things like Brave New World, Lord of the Flies or works by Shakespeare and others before fifth grade. It just happened for me. My father would take a book from his shelf and say "Read this." So I did, and often we'd discuss the book after I'd finished. Sometimes my perception of the book's contents changed with reading it over various stages of my life, but I always was able to glean something from it.

Now the libraries don't seem to have the books I am interested in, or I'm on a waiting list...a long one...when a popular book comes out. This could be related to living in an area where there isn't a large library. Enter Amazon.com! When online book ordering became possible, I stopped going to the library as often. I've also been to local bookshops (which sometimes have the same problem the public library does...the book isn't available, though sometimes I get lucky.) They very kindly say they can order it for me and have it in two or three days, but I can do the same thing online. Admittedly, I have a bad case of "bibliophilia."

I'm currently reading The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows. One of my favorite quotes from the book (so far) is:

...That's what I love about reading: one tiny thing will interest you in a book, and that tiny thing will lead you onto another book, and another bit there will lead you onto a third book. It's geometrically progressive--all with no end in sight, and for no other reason than sheer enjoyment.

In my case, that's very true. I've learned a lot about Guernsey Island since reading the book and looking up information about it available online. It's a melding of reading for pleasure and reading for knowledge.

Speaking "Frank-ly"

2008-12-26T08:55:00.001-08:00

One of the hard things for me this time of year is the season causes me to reflect on times past. Both of my parents have been deceased for many years, but that is what happens with the passage of time. It's difficult, however, to sometimes think of broken friendships, broken romances and then tragic events ending a life way too early. That was the case with my friend, Frank.

I first met Frank when my parents moved to another city when I was attending college. Frank was attending a different college, closer to where my parents lived. Frank and my parents attended the same church. So meeting Frank was, I guess, one of those things to be expected.

We discovered we had the same sense of humor, and because Frank was one of the "hippie types" of that era (and all that entails) we shared some common interests. My parents liked Frank, but probably secretly prayed that nothing serious would develop between us. They needn't have worried. Frank was, well, my buddy (but not the kind that some people think of these days.) We talked for hours, and because Frank was an unashamed smoker of the popular substance at that time, we got into some really interesting conversations. My parents, no doubt, thought that I was guilty of similar smoking behaviors because I hung out with Frank, but that wasn't the case. Someone even labeled me a "fake hippie" because I never intentionally used recreational drugs (second hand inhalation at a rock concert was another matter. I couldn't hold my breath forever!!)

One of Frank's favorite songs was "Don't Bogart That Joint" (or as it appeared on the album listing: "Don't Bogart Me") known from the movie Easy Rider, played during a scene which pushed actor Jack Nicholson into stardom.

Frank and I only saw each other during college breaks. Christmas and summers, mainly. He wrote to me (in those pre-email days) and told me he was in love with me, but sadly for him, I didn't love him in quite the same way. He moved on. Our friendship remained, but we saw less of each other.

Several years later, word came that Frank had died while awaiting a transplant. By the time I had learned about it, the funeral was long over, but I still grieved for a while remembering the fun we had. He was there for me during times of heartaches of my own. He also had an off-kilter sense of humor, remarking one time that the day after Christmas, which I have known as "St. Stephen's Day," was a "day to get stoned." Not that he chose that particular day to do so.

So each Christmas, I remember Frank and his love of puns, our interesting conversations that went on for hours and veered from serious to silly. He loved the comic strip Frank & Earnest because of the puns it often contains. One of his favorite lines when we'd meet up was "I'll be Frank, and you'll be earnest." How true. Spoken like a lover of puns.

Dewey Readmore Books

2008-12-17T20:08:00.000-08:00

I'm a lifelong animal lover. Starting with a cat who entered the life of my family when I was four years old. There have been many animals/pets in my life since then. As a result, I've read a lot of books involving animals since my childhood. One of the more recent books I read, Marley & Me, has just been made into a movie. But recently, I read a book titled Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World. His full name was the title of this post, "Dewey Readmore Books." As a lover of puns (and cats, among other animals) I adored the name this cat was given when it was discovered by a librarian one cold night in Iowa. I won't say anything else about Dewey's story, but it was an emotionally touching read. I will only add that I never heard of Dewey until I read this book, so was surprised at how far-reaching his notoriety was.

Survey Says: Do you text message during sex?

2008-12-13T12:04:00.001-08:00

Normally, I'm not a big fan of telephone surveys, but I decided to participate in one today as I was not really involved in something at the time of the call. The questions covered a wide variety of topics, so that just when I thought I'd figured out who was sponsoring this survey, another crop of questions went in another direction. Samples: "How do you feel about a root canal as opposed to tooth extraction?" "Have you heard of these brands of water coolers?" "Do you know about the Heritage Foundation?" "How do you feel about the Brookings Institute?" and one that REALLY made me laugh "Have you ever text-messaged someone while having sex?" She had to repeat the question. I could tell that the questioner was also a bit reluctant about asking that one at first and her initial phrase was "while in the throes of passion," but then she said "If you think that one was funny, wait, there are more questions about sex." I was intrigued and was thankful the caller was female. My sex life is not something I wish to discuss with many people, but I told her (the caller/questioner) that my mind kept coming back to that "sex while text messaging" question and I kept trying to supress my laughter. One of the follow up questions was "Do you know anyone who has admitted having sex while text messaging?" Sadly, I had to say "yes." I really do know someone who admitted that to me. Other questions involved political issues, economic and social issues. As I mentioned, it was hard to figure out who was sponsoring the survey, but as surveys go, it was definitely one of the more interesting ones.

Tired of being Malled during the Holidays

2008-12-06T12:25:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year when the Malls become the destination for many holiday shoppers. Not this one (yours truly.) I was talking to someone the other day about their recent trip to the Mall some distance from my residence and it occurred to me, I haven't been to a Mall in two years or more. It isn't that I have anything against the retailers, maybe it's just something to do with my perspective. I was beginning to feel claustrophobic with all the crowding and shoving that shoppers were doing making their way from store to store. It was like the oxygen was being sucked out of the space I was walking. Then there were people to dodge who would stand in the middle of the pathways and obliviously chat with each others (or use cell phones) and jabber unaware that there were others trying to walk around them. Or they plain just did not care. One of my pet peeves is rudeness and at this time of the year when there should be a "holiday spirit" of "peace and goodwill" people turn into, well, "jerks." Maybe it's the way they were parented (or weren't parented,) never being taught to show respect for others, or maybe the the nation has just become so "DO IT NOW" with instant gratification piled onto it, that people just don't care how they are perceived by others.

Don't get me wrong. I was an adolescent years ago and at that time, I acted age appropriate (translation: I sometimes could be a bit of a jerk myself,) but I had been taught manners. I also grew up.

One of my fondest memories of Christmas as a young adult was going with a friend to do Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. Mind you, we were both in our twenties then, didn't attend the same college but saw each other during semester breaks. It was a lot of fun....back then.

But several years ago, I began to really, really dislike going to the Mall when living in Lafayette. Ironically, it was some place my now exes (boyfriends, signifcant others) and then-friends would go to together and have a decent time, especially at the coffee shop at Center Court in the Acadiana Mall (now known, as I recall, as The Mall of Acadiana.) It isn't painful memories of relationships lost that makes me avoid the Mall now. Again, it's the crowds and a lot of rude behavior. Add to that trying to find a parking place while someone waits and blocks a lane of traffic just so they can get two spaces closer to the Mall. Does it really hurt THAT much to walk a little further (assuming a person doesn't need a handicap spot)? Not to mention the gas being wasted idling or circling for "just the right spot" to park.

These days when I Christmas shop "in person", I tend to do so at stores not located in a Mall, but local shops--and many of them are losing business and closing due to hard economic times. That reflects also on the remaining choices I have.

While it causes me conflict as an activist trying very hard to stay environmentally aware, I tend to shop mostly online these days. I have to consider the miles something travels, the packaging used and other things that can impact the environment, but it is less stressful to shop from my home at my computer than to wade through people who act rudely.

Espresso Yourself: Do the Truffle Shuffle!

2008-12-04T15:11:00.001-08:00

Where I am currently living a Starbucks opened within the past few months. This is my first holiday season being aware of their "Holiday Drinks" which are available only during this time of year.

Equally new to me is espresso. I know that it is a highly caffeinated beverage, as well as a little of the history behind it. It's better in small quantities of consumption, much like the dainty demitasse cups I inherited from my mother (who inherited them from her mother) which I've never used. The delicate little cups normally are used to serve strong coffee, and I rarely drink coffee. I gave up coffee years ago as a steady beverage when I left home to attend college. Prior to that, I drank the familiar concoction of "coffee milk": one-third coffee, two-thirds milk and of course, sugar, from childhood through high school graduation.

Since I tend to drink tea at the "new" Starbucks, I decided to try one of their holiday drink offerings on a day a percentage of the purchase was donated to AIDS research. This deviation from my normal "tall" (which actually is a "regular size") hot tea order caused me to have to write down beforehand my order so that I wouldn't get confused with all the "barrista-speak" Starbucks employees learn as do regular customers who order the fancier drinks. I ordered a "short espresso truffle with two percent milk" after reading about the holiday drink on Starbuck's website. It also came highly recommended by the Starbucks staff. My verdict: Very good. It tasted a bit like hot chocolate with a mild coffee undertone (forgive the gourmet-speak, please.) I enjoyed it enough to look forward to ordering another one soon. There are two others offered by Starbucks this season, but I'll probably stick with the "truffle"--which due to the sugar rush and caffeine jolt can really give you a peppy shuffle--and that was just the "short" size!

Thinking outside the Christmas gift box

2008-12-02T15:53:00.000-08:00

During the Spanish Civil War in 1936, a Midwestern farmer named Dan West was ladling out rations of milk to hungry children and had a thought "These children don't need a cup, they need a cow." His idea grew over the years and now is known as Heifer International, but don't have a cow, man, because cattle are not the only things Heifer International offers in the way of helping impoverished people become self-reliant.

Heifer International publishes a Christmas catalogue (and has an online site, too):

http://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQNiFiG/b.183217/

Their work goes on year-round, but at Christmas when people are thinking of what gift to give someone, what better way than to help others? For as little as $10 you can contribute to the purchase of an animal which will provide nourishment not just for one meal, but for many. Cows, pigs, geese, ducks, goats and sheep are all used not just for one meal, or for one item of clothing from wool, but to sustain a village economically. Additionally, trees and honey bees can be purchased for less than thirty dollars to help areas of the world in need. You can make a donation in memory or honor of a loved one and help those less fortunate and receive or have sent a card noting your donation. You might just make your own life better and understand the gift season of Christmas a little more.

December 1: World AIDS Awareness Day

2008-12-01T21:12:00.001-08:00

I trained as a volunteer for an HIV/AIDS awareness organization when it first opened in the city where I lived. At the time, there were a lot of fears about AIDS: about how it was spread from person to person. People in the gay community were targeted as "the enemy" being "cursed by God" as expressed by some people both locally and nationally. Even now, in other ways, those infected with HIV are still persecuted--but now we know (at least those of us who have been educated) that HIV/AIDS can't be spread by a cough, shaking hands or a hug (which was part of the early fears.)

As a heterosexual, others in the early years of this growing epidemic often wondered why I would want to help "those people" (who were primarily members of the gay community.) I couldn't see why I WOULDN'T want to help them, and I hope the time that I worked as a volunteer did help in some small way. During those early years, people I had come to care about died within a short time frame and I grieved. Today, some I met are still living with the help of improved medications which aren't cheap and it isn't just one pill a day. Because those infected are living longer, some people are thinking that HIV/AIDS is no longer a problem. Don't be fooled.

It wasn't until heterosexuals began to be infected with HIV/AIDS through drug use or unprotected sex that the public began to show concern and educate more, to increase research for medicines and hope for a cure. Now HIV/AIDS Awareness is a worldwide goal. How far we've come, but how far we have left to go.

Here's thinking of you, Tim (my volunteer training "buddy" who was HIV+ and died many years ago.) May a cure come soon for others, when it came too late for you.

Reprieve!

2008-11-30T15:37:00.000-08:00

Shortly before Thanksgiving, I was called about a pending execution. This did not make me happy, and I realize that such events are becoming more frequent due to hard economic times.

The call was from an area animal shelter about a Yorkshire Terrier estimated to be about three years old who ended up as an unwanted pet, or perhaps just another mouth to feed in an already strained budget someone had.

After a ninety minute journey to the shelter, I was introduced to "Johnny"--the name given to him by shelter employees. Someone had obviously loved Johnny because he is so friendly, but no one came to claim him or called out of concern. After attempting to reunite him with his "family," the clock was ticking. "Johnny" was going to the gas chamber in twenty-four hours.

Admittedly, I'm a sucker for some hard-luck stories, especially when it comes to animals. So the animal control people (some knew me from a prior adoption there) knew who would be interested. I would.

As I drove home with "Johnny", I couldn't help but think of all those animals who won't be so lucky. Having worked in animal rescue efforts in the past, I also know how emotionally draining it can be. My worst experience was taking part in a puppymill "clearance" due to orders from the local law enforcement agency near the puppymill. Trust me, if you've ever seen a puppymill situation, you've had a glimpse of Hell.

For my own well-being, I had to get out of animal rescue work, and I've admired those who could hang in there (and not all of them are like the case you heard about involving Ellen DeGeneres.) I know some of you are reading this and thinking "it's only an animal." But there are just as many who think differently.

Like most who have worked in animal rescue organization efforts, I can tell you what to do. With Christmas rapidly approaching, some are looking to get a puppy or kitten for a Christmas gift. Think long and hard about this idea. Make sure your adopted pet didn't come from a puppymill (or the equivalent for kittens.) Spay or neuter your animal unless you plan to breed them...and keep the breeding to a minimum. If you see dollar signs related to "future income" when you look at a cat or dog after you've purchased it, remember that not everyone can afford to pay $100+ for a pet these days, not to mention what comes with taking care of it.

I can also tell you from personal experience that for every purebred animal, there are several mixed breed dogs or cats who need love, too, and can be found at your local animal shelter (purebred animals can be found at shelters, too, if rescue groups have not intervened.) But their time is limited.

"Johnny" got his reprieve just in time.

Reading: Rice and "gravy"

2008-11-29T16:18:00.001-08:00

I've tried many times to read several of the works produced by Anne Rice, a former--and famous--resident of New Orleans, but haven't ever succeeded to the end. Though I know several people who have talked positively about her vampire chronicles and her newest spiritual fiction related to Jesus. I am, however, currently reading her autobiography Called Out of Darkness: A Spiritual Confession. From advance word about the book, Rice's spiritual journey has been reflected in both her vampire fiction as well as her other fictional work. I have always been interested in spiritual journey/conversion stories (not just limited to Christian matters,) and thought that Rice's autobiography might give me some insight into her spiritual journey as well as her creative process and subject focus.

The "gravy" in this entry's title is related to a book by Isabel Anders, Awaiting the Child: An Advent Journal. Anders, whom I met about a month ago has published several works, mostly related to spiritual or theological themes. Awaiting the Child is not only related to the season of Advent, it is a journal she kept during her first pregnancy, giving the title a dual meaning.

P.S. Rice (the food) and gravy has been one of my favorite "comfort foods" since early childhood. Reading has always been the "comfort food" for my mind and soul.

Christmas Trees in November?

2008-11-28T11:35:00.000-08:00

I know it is a sign of consumerism more than getting into the Christmas season when living Christmas trees (OK, they're actually dead for the most part) are being purchased this far in advance of Christmas Day. It's annoying enough with radio stations dedicating their twenty-four hour format to Christmas music, or seeing Christmas decorations put up in the city before Thanksgiving.

In my childhood household, it was pretty much a "no-no" to put up a Christmas tree before Christmas Eve, due to this religious season called "Advent." My parents believed the old adage "Keep Christ in Christmas and Christmas out of Advent." I'm sure R. Catholics have heard of Advent, and I know it isn't a religious season observed by every Christian denomination. But whatever one's religious affiliation (I've some Jewish friends who refer to it as a "Chanukah bush" when buying a small Christmas tree.) The Christmas tree, after all, has its roots (I know there's a pun) in pagan observances co-opted by early Christians. Buying a severed tree to me this early just means a lot of dead needles and a fire hazard before Christmas Day. But that's just my opinion, humbly expressed.

Of course, anyone who has waited like my family did to purchase a non-artificial tree on Christmas Eve often was confronted with the little spindly leftovers like the little tree made famous in the animated holiday program A Charlie Brown Christmas. But as Charlie Brown's friend Linus noted, spindly little trees need love too. It wasn't always the case that the trees of my youth purchased on Christmas Eve were that sad-looking.

I also remember the year my mother introduced a "new" family custom when I was a teenager which she had learned as a child and young adult growing up through the Great Depression of the 1930s. It's taking a branch, spray painting (though I don't know if spray paint was available then for household use.) the branch a shade of white or whatever festive color related to Christmas you liked, and then sticking gumdrops (or spice drops) on the the tips of the branch. I thought that was kind of interesting, and I've noticed you can now buy a special silver plated tree to stick the gum drops on, but that doesn't sound as interesting or creative. Though the gumdrops may be safer to eat (if you like to eat gumdrops, which I don't since childhood.) With current economic hard times, I thought I'd just share this with those who don't know about it as an option.

I still wait until Christmas Eve to put up my tree, and some years, it's been a live tree that can be planted, which shares space sometimes with a menorah related to Chanukah. (That's Hanukkah to others) because the seasons sometimes overlap. Chanukah is often thought of as the "Jewish Christmas" but it isn't. It's a very minor but important event in Judaism. Remember, without Judaism, there would be no Christmas. And if you are wondering, I am not a member of the Messianic Jewish group, just one who has studied and participated in several different religions both major and minor. If you haven't heard of Messianic Jews, here's a link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Messianic_Jews

Happy Holidays.

Thanksgiving not always a time of thanks: personal perspective

2008-11-26T19:59:00.000-08:00

While visions of food and families gathered together are the traditional view of Thanksgiving, it will never be the same for me again. Seven years ago today, my mother died from post-surgical complications. Complications, including death, always are a possiblity of many types of surgery,but even though it was written in a consent form my mother signed prior to surgery, I was not prepared for the outcome. The only "thankful" part of her death was it ended a coma she had been in within 24 hours of the surgery which had lasted a week. Initially, I blamed the physician, as did my sibling, but we never took the matter to court, reasoning that our mother wouldn't want that, and no physician is perfect. I suppose I can be thankful that she had lived for nearly eighty years, but it wasn't a consolation then, nor is it now, seven years later though the grief has subsided a bit. Mind you, my mother and I were never close after I reached adolescence, and often got "on each other's nerves" as the expression goes, but I still miss her. Even though Thanksgiving's date changes, I will always remember the season as a time of sorrow in my life. This year it's even harder as I watch a co-worker in emotional pain because like my mother, her own mother has lapsed into a coma from which it is doubtful she will recover due to brain injury. I can only offer prayers and my support should my co-worker need it. It's tough to be thankful at such a time.

Bonding

2008-11-22T15:25:00.000-08:00

Craig....Daniel Craig. With the recent release of the film Quantum of Solace, things have changed for James Bond. Gone are some of the things associated with the classic Bond ("Bond....James Bond") and his penchant for martinis which were "shaken, not stirred." A recent Newsweek magazine article (see the link here: http://www.newsweek.com/id/168849) discloses a lot of information about the evolution of the fictional secret agent 007. I was in elementary school when my parents took my sibling and me along to watch a double feature of Dr. No and Thunderball, forever getting me confused at that age about which film came first (it was Dr. No.)

While I didn't understand why the first version of the film Casino Royale was such an odd film (with a good musical soundrack, and several well-known actors of that time, however) I learned it was remade because the original was done the way it was because of property rights.

While there were several good James Bond "opening songs," I'd have to agree with some who have written about such things (including Newsweek's recent articles) that the honor of best opening theme belongs to Live and Let Die, written by Paul and Linda McCartney (that's SIR Paul McCartney to most of us, and a former Beatle as well.) McCartney still performs the song brilliantly years later.

Like many females of my age who saw the first James Bond as Sean Connery, it's pretty darn hard to accept any other, but having seen the remade Casino Royale with Daniel Craig, I can say that Craig is probably number two on the list of best Bonds. I know there are some who will disagree with me. Some of the females who first became aware of James Bond during Roger Moore's take on that role, insist that Moore is the quintessential Bond. Admittedly, I haven't surveyed that many people, and it's been mostly females, but I've wondered about who guys think is the real Bond.

James Bond was in the first film I saw on my own as a teenager (You Only Live Twice) when films were not so strictly rated as they are now, so it is part of my on personal history of adolescent transition. But by that time, I had already "Bonded" with Sean Connery. I would look back and think "This is the same guy who was in the film Darby O'Gill and the Little People?" which I saw with my mother as a child of five (and didn't remember much of Connery's performance.)

Before conclusions are drawn that it was my mother who wanted to see Sean Connery as Bond, all I can say is that she was fonder of Roger Moore as an actor as I remember (she liked his television series, The Saint.)

I did not see Daniel Craig's turn as 007 in Casino Royale until it was on pay-per-view (I rarely go out to movies any more.) I saw few of the Bond movies during the years following Connery's portrayal of the man in Her Majesty's secret service. But Craig seems like a good fit for the role which is has been around for quite some time, starting off in the mind of writer Ian Fleming and growing to a cultural icon over the years, especially in the 1960s.

Political Doom and Gloom

2008-11-16T13:47:00.000-08:00

I'm still amazed at the "Chicken Little" climate that seems pervasive around me following the election of Barack Obama. Someone in another blog has sarcastically referred to those who support his election as seeing the "Messiah" arrive. Sheesh. While it seems a century ago (and it was, technically, because it happened in the twentieth century) I recall how people were excited about the election of William Jefferson Clinton, elevating it to a "bridge to the future" (OK, even Clinton himself promoted that view.) While I could not vote in the election of 1960 since I was a child, I was vaguely aware that a "new era" (later dubbed many things as well as "New Frontier") I admit that this election does have significance historically, but I won't forget that President-elect Obama is a human being, prone to having failures just like any other person.

In the South, the backlash against the president-elect has been particularly vicious, which is shameful. But it's also not just limited to the South. There are racists in other parts of this nation as well.

From a blogger's site

2008-11-07T14:37:00.000-08:00

I took the cartoon below from another blogger's website. Here's hoping that the U.S. Constitution CAN be put back together again. (Credit Mike Lukovich, artist, Atlanta Journal-Constitution. The blogger's site remains anonymous.)

Crystal Blue Persuasion

2008-11-05T16:14:00.000-08:00

Look over yonder what do you see?
The sun is a-risin' most definitely
A new day is comin' people are changin'...
(Crystal Blue Persuasion--Tommy James and the Shondells, composed by Eddie Gray, Tommy James and Mike Vale)

When I heard this song as a teenager, I was an idealist caught up in the promise offered by my young dreams and the atmosphere that was going on around me in the world, some bad, but a lot of idealism. While other songs of idealism from that era resonate with me, perhaps this one came to mind because of the "blue" associated with the Democratic candidate.

Last night, as I watched the nation elect Barack Obama as the 44th president, I was happy to see the joy shared by so many people, especially in Grant Park, Chicago, the scene of a very ugly confrontation I also remember the Democratic National Convention rallies held in that very park. Maybe there IS hope for this nation, and maybe we can dare to dream of a better future with this historical event.

Freda Payne and Onward Christian Soldiers

2008-11-02T07:26:00.000-08:00

This morning my husband and I were sitting in the local Starbucks having our usual Sunday morning outing (he drinks coffee, I drink tea and we each find pastries to our liking) and we were listening to the various songs playing in the store. One caught our attention, titled "Bring the Boys Home" and Husband wondered out loud "Who's singing that?" "Freda Payne" I replied, remembering her songs (like "Band of Gold") being banned on Armed Forces Radio during the Vietnam War (ok, it was technically a "Conflict," but still, too many people died.)

I found it a bit eerie that last night I had been thinking of how much I had sung the song "Onward Christian Soldiers" as a child, because it was one of the first songs I learned as a child (besides "Jesus Loves Me" and excluding Christmas carols.) While I have nothing against the Salvation Army in terms of their humanitarian efforts, I remember that "Onward Christian Soldiers" became one of their anthems, if not their main anthem. (which I suppose befits a group calling itself an "Army.") I shudder at the lyrics of "Onward Christian Soldiers" now. So militant, so intolerant, so...."Un-Christ-like" in its sentiment. Sort of like the Crusades in the past and some of the current "Crusades" happening now.

As for Payne's song, yes, it's a sentiment I share now. I'm still amazed that it seems we as a nation learned nothing from the experiences in Vietnam. The only thing that should change in the lyrics is that now it is not just "boys" serving on the front lines in combat situations, it's "girls" as well. Which is another factor overlooked in the past. While certainly more men died in combat situations in Vietnam, there were female casualties on both sides, too. That is the face of war.

My Jesus Year

2008-11-01T19:32:00.000-07:00

Currently reading My Jesus Year: A Rabbbi's Son Wanders the Bible Belt in Search of His Own Faith by Benyamin Cohen.

I tend to read a lot of spiritually-related books, but my reading habits are eclectic and vast. This particular book caught my interest as it was in a blurb by the writer A.J. Jacobs, the author of two very good books, The Know It All and The Year of Living Biblically. In the first book, Jacobs sets a goal of reading the entire Encyclopedia Britannica in a year's time. No easy task. In his second book, Jacobs takes on the tenets of his Jewish faith placing them in the context of the Torah and the Bible and living "by the rules" set out in both.

Because I liked Jacobs' books, I decided to read Cohen's book. Because I have lived in the Bible Belt, I was intrigued how he would carry out his journey. One of the interesting things is that Cohen is an Orthodox Jew who married the daughter of a Methodist clergyman. Since she was no longer interested in the faith of her birth, she converted to Judaism. Orthodox Judaism. Like many converts, she tends to be a little more adherent to her "new" faith than her author-husband.

As I write this, Cohen has just attended his first "Megachurch" service in Georgia. The journey of the year has just begun, and I'm along for the ride.

The University of the South, Sewanee, TN

2008-10-23T14:59:00.000-07:00

One of the places visited while in TN was the University of the South, known by many as "Sewanee" denoting its geographical location. A small private liberal arts university (which also has a seminary on the campus where my father attended classes years ago when I was in second grade) was formerly an all-male university. In the early 1970s, the university became co-ed.

While the university and town have remained small, there have been a few signs of growth (including an interstate which didn't exist when I lived in the area as a child.) Several coffee shops now are in the area (we visited two of them, Lorena's in nearby Monteagle and The Blue Chair on the edge of the campus.) Both we enjoyed and frequented while there. We plan to return in the future. Another coffee shop on the campus, Stirling's, was closed due to a week-long break for the university.

What was an additional new discovery since our last trip to the area a decade ago is about something that has become a bit of a controversy. The Chancellor of the university will not allow the university seal to be used on very many items for sale, with the belief (or so I'm told) that selling t-shirts with the university seal (something we purchased on our last trip there and hoped to purchase again) somehow degrades the university. I was flummoxed at learning about this from bookstore personnel. It's not like I'm approving of the sale of the university seal on toilet seats, rugs, blankets, etc. But even keychains and other jewelry except class rings, appear to be a without a seal available in the bookstore. The bookstore personnel are as confused by this as I am.

The university has had its share of controversy over the years it has been in existence. It went co-ed as I mentioned, after having been founded as an all-male college in the 1850s. The seminary became somewhat liberal in the 1960-70 decade in terms of anti-war sentiments (making conservative students and alumni rather aggravated, my father being one of those.) In recent years, I've learned that the very name "The University of the South" is seldom used now and reference is made to it as "Sewanee" due to people from outside the South being disturbed by the notation of the "South" in the title (despite the fact it IS in a southern state.)

The university's roots in terms of architecture and original structure are related to Oxford University in England. Sometimes Sewanee is referred to as "The Oxford of the South."

While I still love the place, I did register a complaint with the Vice-Chancellor's office while there regarding the removal of the seal from certain articles for sale in the bookstore, such as the aforementioned t-shirts. It just doesn't make sense to me. Sometimes the small extroverted side of me flares up and this was one of those occasions.

Home Again

2008-10-21T13:14:00.000-07:00

Back from our vacation trip to TN, arriving home late yesterday afternoon. It was VERY hard to come back home. This was not a "let's just go to TN" sort of trip. This was a "scouting trip" to see if we might actually relocate there in a few years (meanwhile going there to visit.) It's a long drive from where we live, but I still have not come down "off the mountain" as it is. I have a few more days of rest until returning to work. Now if I could just get my brain and/or heart back here where I live. Part of the reason we visited where we did is because I spent a year of my childhood in TN as my father attended classes at a university there.

On the road again....With some sorrow

2008-10-14T14:55:00.000-07:00

Husband and I will be headed out for vacation early tomorrow. One of the hardest things about going on vacation (besides the preparations and traveling to the destination) is leaving our furkids behind. We have quite a menagerie of four-legged "beasties." The cats are fine at home alone (or actually with each other) and an adequate supply of food and water is provided for them (as well as the initially clean litter boxes.) Unfortunately, the dogs have to go to the vet clinic for boarding due to their particular needs. I have searched everywhere for someone willing to "pet sit" but there appears to be no one in my town. So, it is with a heavy heart that I leave them penned up at the clinic.

One of the things I marvel at is how QUIET the house becomes when the canine furkids are boarded. It's got to be the equivalent of having kids grow up and move out of the house. I guess, childless couple that we are (by choice), it is the closest we come to the "empty nest" experience.

The cats will no doubt bug us when we get ready to walk out the door early tomorrow, but it's not the same as with the dogs. Cats are usually more low-key about such things as being left alone.

One of our beloved elderly canines disappeared about ten days ago (small Yorkie) somehow managing to get out of a well-watched (and fenced) backyard. It is troubling that despite plenty of ID attached (including an embedded microchip) we have been unable to locate him. Several people have called in reference to an ad we placed in the local paper, but they have been in regard to other dogs spotted roaming a neighborhood.

My suspicion is that the little Yorkie has gone someplace quiet to leave this life behind and did not want us to find him. I understand from past experience and talking with others regarding pet loss that sometimes elderly pets will go somewhere they can't be found, to die. People who do not equate pets with the same love as a human, don't understand the feeling of loss. Others know well about the phrase "The Rainbow Bridge" pets cross at the end of their life here on earth.

No matter how many pets have passed through my life (and there have been plenty,) I still mourn the loss of each one. Even if it was their "time to go."

Perhaps this is why I'm viewed as an Extrovert by some

2008-10-12T16:50:00.000-07:00

How to Go from Introvert to Extrovert

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

If you're an introvert, how do you balance the introvert and extrovert parts of yourself, such that you enjoy both types of activities equally, rather than looking forward to one and dreading the other? If you’re very introverted, you may undervalue the positive role people can play in your life, such as knowledge, friendship, growth, laughter, and so on. The optimal outcome is to strike a balance between the two and become an ambivert, or someone who enjoys social interaction and solitude equally.

Steps

Stop undervaluing extroversion. Spending time alone and with people are equally important. You don’t have to give up the introvert activities you enjoy. In fact, when you balance them with more social activities, you’ll probably find them even more satisfying. After several nights of being around people, you might really look forward to a night by yourself to read, meditate, write, etc. And after lots of time alone or with your family, you might find yourself itching to go out and be around other people. Introversion has its benefits, which you're probably already familiar with, but have you thought about how your life could be more fulfilling if you included more people in it?
- Enhance your career - By networking, you have more job opportunities available to you, and you're more likely to get a position that gives you the experience and/or package you prefer. Whether we like it or not, there's some truth to the phrase "It's not what you know, it's who you know".
- Find your soulmate - If you have trouble meeting someone who's compatible with you, then expanding your circle of friends will increase the probability of meeting that special someone. And when you do meet him or her, social skills will help you tremendously in turning an acquaintance into a relationship.
Envision the type of extrovert you’d like to be. If you find the extroverted people around you shallow and perhaps even annoying, why would you want to be more like them? You wouldn’t. Maybe your vision of an extrovert is an in-your-face salesperson who only wants to build a shallow relationship with you so they could sell you something. But you needn’t choose such a limited vision for yourself — you’re free to form your own vision of a positive way to be more extroverted. You can be an extrovert who builds genuine relationships with intelligent people you respect (as opposed to random, shallow socializing).
Find the right social group for you. Why would you want to spend more time with people you don’t like? If becoming more extroverted means spending more time with people you’d rather avoid, you’ll have no motivation to do it. Again, you’re free to break this pattern and form a social group that you’d love to be a part of. Consciously consider the types of people you’d want to have as friends. There’s no rule that says this has to be your peers or co-workers. Don’t be afraid to stretch beyond the most obvious peer group and hang out with people from different ages, neighborhoods, cultures, countries, etc. You might find the variety to be a lot of fun.
Develop your social skills. One reason introverts shy away from social activities is that they don’t feel comfortable because they don’t know what to do, especially if the unexpected were to occur. Being able to start up a conversation with a stranger AND feel completely comfortable doing it is a learnable skill. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Embrace the fact that you’re a beginner, and don’t compare yourself to others. You don’t need to be shallow and manipulative about it, but genuinely build these skills because it will greatly enhance your life. One approach you might find extremely effective is to ask the other person how s/he got started in his/her current line of work. 80-90% of the time the person will say something like, “Well, that’s an interesting story….” And you might genuinely like hearing these stories. A small basic set of social skills can go a long way because you’ll get to reuse them every time you meet someone. Approach your social abilities the way a student would approach a class, or an athlete would approach a sport. Do your homework, give yourself assignments, and test yourself until you get it right:
Take your social life offline. Online socializing has its place in your life, but it’s a pale shadow compared to face-to-face, belly-to-belly communication. Voice and body language can communicate a lot more than text, and emotional bonds are easier and faster to establish in person. You don’t have to do away with online socializing, but don’t allow it to crowd out meeting people locally. If you do that, you’ll only cause your interpersonal skills to lag further behind. Instead, see if you can use the Internet as a starting point for real life friendships. Many introverts have no trouble socializing online. In that environment they’re able to play from their strengths. But you can also use your strengths consciously as leverage to branch out into more face-to-face socializing. If you use forums, for example, focus on local ones and search for opportunities to meet up offline.
Join a club. It’s old advice, but it still works. The advantage is that you’ll find people who share similar interests, which makes it easier to build new relationships. One good club can fill your social calendar. If you join a club and find that it’s not right for you, quit and join something else. You may go through a number of local social groups that just don't resonate with you (too boring, too slow, too disorganized, too many alcoholics). But one good group is all you need.
- Join or start a book club. This is a great way to turn a solitary activity into a social one.
- Join a band. If you play an instrument or sing, find a group you can harmonize with. Not only will you meet them, but if your band gets really good, people will introduce themselves to you.
- Join Mensa. Having trouble finding people who can hold a conversation with you? This might be your ticket to friendship.
Think of relationships in terms of what you can give, not in terms of what you can get. If you seek to build new relationships based on mutual giving and receiving, you’ll have no shortage of friends. Identify people with whom you’d like to build a relationship, and start by giving. For instance, geeky knowledge is actually a tremendous strength when it comes to socializing because there are an awful lot of non-geeks who’d like to understand geeky stuff better, and you can explain it to them in ways they’ll understand. Think about it: What can you bring to a relationship that will be of benefit to someone else? When you figure out what that is (and it’s probably many different things), you’ll have an easier time attracting new friends into your life.

Tips

Being introverted is not the same as being shy. An introvert genuinely enjoys solitary activities more than social ones, whereas someone who's shy stays away from social situations because of fear and anxiety. If you're someone who wants to talk to people and socialize but feel paralyzed, or if you don't feel self-confident, you're probably grappling with shyness. Take a look at How to Overcome Shyness.

Warnings

Your desire to help people can kick start your social life, but don't let it define you; strive for mutually beneficial relationships, where both parties give and take, rather than one person doing all the giving. If you're the kind of person who has trouble saying no, you might want to read:
- How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
- How to Break the "Nice Guy" Stereotype

Related wikiHows

Sources and Citations

StevePavlina.com - Original source, shared with permission.

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Go from Introvert to Extrovert. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

At least I'm consistent: I'm still an INFP(Introvert, Intuitive,Feeling,Perceptive)

2008-10-11T15:33:00.000-07:00

Seems like no matter how many times I take this test, I come out the same.Thanks to Eileen the Episcopalifem blogger for helping me find this link.

INFP - "Questor". High capacity for caring. Emotional face to the world. High sense of honor derived from internal values. 4.4% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

The countdown begins!

2008-10-10T20:34:00.000-07:00

In less than a week, I'll be heading for vacation. I'll finally get to see some Fall color (I hope) and look forward to returning to one of my childhood homes. In fact, probably the favorite home of my childhood. Just wish I could return there year round!

Yom Kippur begins at Sundown

2008-10-08T16:02:00.000-07:00

Tonight is the beginning of Yom Kippur, a solemn day in the Jewish calendar. It also is the conclusion of the days known as "The High Holidays" or "Holy Days" to Jews around the world (which began with Rosh Hashana.) May we all find peace throughout the world very soon.

Blue Merlot Rocks!

2008-10-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

Went to the local Arts and Crafts festival, and my ears pricked up! BLUE MERLOT! I went searching for the origin of the sound, figuring it was just a CD playing at the festival and...There were two members of the band, Blue Merlot (yes, it was a CD I heard, but two of the members were "warming up.") One, I'm happy (and honored) to call a friend: Brenda Lowery, who is gifted in so many ways. Music is one of her passions, but she also wears other professional and personal "hats." How can one person have so much energy?? I had not seen her since one of the band members, Joshua "Bubba" Murrell won a Grammy. If you've never heard them, go to www.bluemerlot.com and sample their music! One of my favorite songs by them is "Big Ovaries."

(Photos courtesy of Blue Merlot Website)

In the Midst of a Holiday: The Jewish New Year

2008-10-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

To all my Jewish readers (if you're out there) and the Jewish community I know and love (though I am no longer a member, you remain in my heart): L'Shanah Tovah!

Oy! My Aching Head!

2008-10-01T19:39:00.000-07:00

It didn't start with the jack hammering/drilling that has been going on outside my residence in recent days, but for a few days now, I've had a persistent headache. Fortunately, this afternoon it slacked off. While it felt like it might be what some people describe as a migraine type, I'm not exactly sure how a migraine feels, because those who have described their misery have had such headaches over an extended period of time and I haven't. This headache, however, is one those few times I've had an excruciating one that has made me sensitive to light and sound (two things migraine sufferers have told me about.) My usual go-to pain relief medication for headaches didn't even stop the pain. The pain migrated to other areas of my body, so I'm guessing I can't say this was "all in my head."

When Autumn Leaves Begin to Fall

2008-09-30T18:11:00.000-07:00

It's my favorite season of the year, but it doesn't feel like it yet. Or look like it, ever, where I live. I live in a region where there are vague seasonal changes. No glorious shows of crimson and gold leaves, just leaves dropping off the trees as winter grows near. So there's no transition. I've mentioned to people it's like this area has two shows with nature: Leaves and no leaves. The leaves appear in the spring, grow through the summer, turn brown and drop. I miss those seasonal changes ablaze with colors and transitional temperatures, which I experienced living elsewhere, but personal commitments keep me here in this region of vague seasonal change. For now, I have to make do with photos of other areas with their glorious color changes. One day, perhaps like the colors change in the seasons, I too, will have a change of scene. It's just a waiting game: which reminds me of the classic standard "September Song."

It isn't an earthquake, but...

2008-09-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

The wisdom of the town where I reside: do noisy road work at night on a street outside my residence because it has traffic (though not heavy) during the daytime. As I type this, my computer keyboard is shaking while a pneumatic drill vibrates everything in its vicinity. I wonder how people cope with this stuff in some large place like NYC? And where did I put my earplugs?

Those Blue Eyes Are Closed and I'm in Mourning: Paul Newman is Dead

2008-09-28T16:13:00.000-07:00

I heard about it Friday and I'm trying to "get over it" even though I didn't know the man personally. Yet it's still painful to think about. Paul Newman is dead. Humanitarian. Actor. Icon. Fallible. Private person. Until his health issues were leaked to the media, Newman was obviously keeping his illness private, because he never mentioned it and instead mentioned he was "retiring" because his mind was not as sharp as it once was to memorize scripts. I'm not sure why his wishes for privacy weren't respected though it probably is related to his celebrity status. I'll always remember him as "Cool Hand Luke" where his antisocial character had some very Christ-like qualities onscreen.

What the heck is an "Anchoress" and who is this Dame,Julian of Norwich?

2008-09-28T14:23:00.000-07:00

Curious as to what an Anchoress is (or was) and why I chose it as a name for my blog on the web site, Beliefnet? No, it isn't a person who handles an anchor. Here's a partial explanation from Wikipedia:

Anchorite (male)/anchoress (female), (adj. anchoritic; from the Greek ἀναχωρέω anachōreō, signifying "to withdraw", "to depart into the rural countryside"), denotes someone who, for religious reasons, withdraws from secular society so as to be able to lead an intensely prayer-oriented, ascetic and, circumstances permitting, Eucharistic-focused life. As a result, anchorites are usually considered to be a type of religious hermit although there are distinctions in their historical development and theology. The anchoritic life is one of the earliest forms of Christian monastic living. Popularly it is perhaps best-known from the surviving archeological and literary evidence of its existence in medieval England.

The most famous Anglican Anchorite was Julian of Norwich, an image of her seen above (which may or may not be historically accurate, given the time in which she lived.) Part of an entry for her on Wikipedia is as follows:

Julian of Norwich (c. November 8,1342– c. 1416) is considered one of the greatest English mystics. Little is known of her life aside from her writings. Even her name is uncertain, the name "Julian" coming from the Church of St. Julian in Norwich, where she was an anchoress, meaning that she was walled into the church behind the altar during a mass for the dead. At the age of 30, suffering from a severe illness and believing she was on her deathbed, Julian had a series of intense visions of Jesus Christ. (They ended by the time she overcame her illness, May 13, 1373) She recorded these visions soon after having them, and then again twenty years later in far more theological depth. They are the source of her major work, called Sixteen Revelations of Divine Love(circa 1393). This is believed to be the first book written by a woman in the English language Julian became well known throughout England as a spiritual authority: Margery Kempe mentions going to Norwich to speak with Julian.

Although she lived in a time of turmoil, Julian's theology was optimistic, speaking of God's love in terms of joy and compassion as opposed to law and duty. For Julian, suffering was not a punishment that God inflicted, as was the common understanding. She believed that God loved and saved everyone. Popular theology magnified by current events including the Black and a series of peasant revolts assumed that God was punishing the wicked. In response, Julian suggested a far more chimerical theology, universal salvation. Because she believed that beyond the reality of hell is yet a greater mystery of God's love, she has also been referred to in modern times as a proto-universalist. Even though her views were not typical, local authorities did not challenge either her theology or her authority to make such religious claims because of her status as an anchoress.

Woke Up, Got Out of Bed....

2008-09-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

Woke up, fell out of bed /Dragged a comb across my head...(Lennon/McCartney, A Day in the Life)

Can't explain why the above lines (including that whole passage written by Paul McCartney) was going through my head when I woke up this morning. But I always seem to find a snippet of music and/or lyrics going through my head. Especially in the morning. When that song was written in the 1960s, (and yes, I'm THAT old,) I couldn't have told you who really wrote the lyrics. The Beatles to me were a talented group of guys and I couldn't distinguish between who wrote what until after they split up. Now I know the back story of how John Lennon started writing the lyrics to a very dark song ("I read the news today...") and couldn't seem to finish it. Likewise, McCartney had started a song with the lyrics quoted above. Creatively frustrated, they combined the two separate lyrics they'd written into the song it was to become.

But why that song was in my head this morning, I can't explain. I suppose worse things could be there.

By the way, there's a quiz where you can find out which of The Beatles you match. My result: John Lennon. I was initially surprised, but the more I thought about it, I wasn't.

Spiritually Speaking

2008-09-28T11:15:00.000-07:00

What a journey my life has been, spiritually-speaking. I've been a member of three major religions, taken several courses related to religion and/or spirituality and still hunger for more. Sometimes I just get exhausted and pause. But after a while, I'm on my way again. My journey always makes me think of a song written by Cat Stevens (now known as Yusuf Islam,) On the Road to Find Out. It fits.

So Many Blogs, So Little Time...

2008-09-27T18:32:00.000-07:00

A decision just has to be made. I've got to quit having so many blogs in the "blogosphere." So, I'm gradually weeding out those I've tried to maintain but decided to end. One such now inactive blog I've had is on the website, Beliefnet. Those of you who read the blog of Anglican Anchoress, that was I. I also maintain another one called Writerleft (a pun, not necessarily a political statement) via a newspaper's sponsored blog site--most of the entries I've read there seem to address politcs, not something I'm overly comfortable in sharing to a large audience. I am a political activist, I am just selective about it: that is, I try to do something instead of just grumble about it in a blog (though, admittedly, I've done that too.) Lastly, I have had a long running blog (until about a month or so ago) which I wrote daily on the Windows Live blog site called Peace Seeker in a Chaotic World. I was thoroughly devoted to it, and found out that many were reading it. But a series of personal events caused me to eventually write there less and less. I decided to import the name to Blogger, because it was almost like I had a copyright on the name! I have no plans to import the previously published blog material, though.

So now, I wonder, should I maintain this blog here? Time and thought will tell.

I love to write, but I have a life outside of writing (dammit--if only there was more time to live as a writer!) and I just can't juggle all the different sites. I'm still contemplating my activity here.

Know this: I tend to keep an eclectic blog, so there's no "common theme" like politics, religion, etc. I've done separate blogs with that in mind, but as I said, it's just getting too hard. Feedback is welcomed. Anyone reading this?

Back....

2008-07-06T07:59:00.000-07:00

I'm back. I've been at another blog I maintain and learned that sometimes keeping up with more than one blog is VERY challenging.

For those of you who have emailed me wondering if I am in Scotland, the answer is no. I'm in the United States. My ancestral heritage, however (which may be a redundant phrase) is Scottish and Irish. Meaning I'm pretty much in the Celtic mold.

I'll try to write more here as time permits. I'm also still getting accustomed to the format here as it's different every blog site I have encountered.

I'm Here!

2008-05-31T19:00:00.000-07:00

Since many of the bloggers I know are using Blogspot as their "place to be" I decided I would give it a go. Hope to link up with the others whose blogs have been here for quite a while.